Tag Archives: ex-boyfriends

Human Complexity

I find humans endlessly fascinating, and sometimes, a bit annoying.

Several months ago, I broke up with a man I had been dating off and on for six years. I ended our relationship because he wanted a friends-with-benefits type of relationship, for the most part, and I wanted more. I wanted a true, healthy, full, committed relationship. We had broken up before for the same reasons, but something about turning 50 strengthened my resolve to set boundaries and get what I wanted.

Despite telling him clearly that I could no longer date him because I wanted more than he could offer, he has continued to try to “tempt” me into seeing him.

At first, his contact was pretty innocuous, and since I wanted to remain friends, it was nice to maintain contact. He is very intelligent, a MENSA member, a partner in his law firm, and funny as hell.

However, he contacted me recently wanting to get together. I politely declined citing my committed relationship with Jack and my original reasons for ending our relationship.

Today, he contacted me again. Again! He wanted to see if I’d like to get together. Once again, but not as politely as the first time, I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I am not interested in being FWBs with him. I told him I respect myself and the boundaries I’ve set too much to return to a less than satisfactory relationship with him. And just as importantly, I love Jack and the happy, healthy, joyful relationship we’ve developed.

At any rate, I think he finally gets it, though he was miffed and annoyed that I wouldn’t give in.

So, my question is this: why would my ex keep trying? Is it an ego thing? Is he testing my resolve?